How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.

Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.

If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:

“You look so healthy!” is a great one.

Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”

“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”

Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.

Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.

Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.

Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.

Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.

Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.

Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.

Teach your daughter how to cook kale.

Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.

Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.

Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.

Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.

(via ittaco)

(Source: moxie-bird)

(Reblogged from brynndragon)

Anonymous asked: Wait, I don't get it. How are lesbians only being attracted to other women with vaginas in any way the same thing as men only being attracted to women of a certain weight or race?

blue-author:

It’s not about lesbians “only being attracted to other women with vaginas”. It never has been.

In the first place, let’s be clear: we are talking about some lesbians, specifically cis lesbians who are not open to dating trans lesbians.

The fact that we can’t have this conversation without agreeing to frame the lesbian identity in a way that excludes trans women and some cis women and trying to change that framing get us accused of “policing the lesbian identity” is one of the major red flags that no one who talks about this is actually interested in a conversation.

And that goes for you, too. I’m tempted to say that if you would like a sincere answer, you should come back with a sincere question.

But the fact is that it’s more valuable to publicly push back against this disingenuous approach than it would be to try to reach you personally, so I’m going to forge ahead.

As I said, it’s not about those cis lesbians “only being attracted to other women with vaginas”.

Because some trans women have vaginas.

So it’s “I’m only attracted to certain kinds of women with certain kinds of vaginas.”

And even then, it’s not about that.

Follow the chain of “certains” long enough, and what it comes down to is the assertion “I am attracted to cis women, not to trans women.”

"Vaginas" is the explanation for this phenomenon. Radical feminist lesbians would normally bristle at the idea that being attracted to a woman means being attracted to vaginas because reducing women to their parts is what patriarchy wants us to do. But as I said: once trans women are involved, everything goes out the window.

Now, how is “I am attracted to cis women, not to trans women” similar* to people who claim to only be attracted to certain races?

Simple.

It relies on the idea that all members of a group are visually identifiable by a single feature or set of features, that all members of a group are visually identical in some way. 

When trans women aren’t on the horizon, radical feminists love to say “There’s no one way that women look. There’s no one way that women act. There’s no one way to be a woman.”

They’re talking about cis women, obviously. So let’s spell it out: there’s no one way that cis women look. There’s no one way that cis women act. There’s no one way to be a cis women.

And if that’s true, there’s no one thing for a cis lesbian to be attracted to in cis women. And no one thing for a cis lesbian to be unattracted to in trans women.

Let’s be honest: if cis people really could automagically tell who is trans and not be attracted to them, this wouldn’t be an issue. They wouldn’t be trying to keep us out of queer dating spaces, causing trans panic rape scares whenever we talk about being lesbians or dating lesbians, et cetera.

The assertion “I’m not attracted to trans people” is made to explain their violent reactions over the fear that they will find themselves attracted to a person and then learn that she is trans.

Now, you’ll probably circle back to vaginas and say that they’re the feature that cis women have that cis lesbians are attracted to. But what I said about not one way to be a woman applies to vaginas, too. Not all vaginas look the same. Not all vaginas act the same. Not all vaginas react the same.

Everything that gets thrown out as a characteristic of “real vaginas” (cis women’s vaginas/vulvas) applies to every cis woman’s vagina and vulva. Not every vagina successfully self-lubricates or has a lot of elasticity. Not every vagina is a passageway to a uterus or a fertile womb. Not every vagina—even on a dyadic cis body—is there without the work of surgical reconstruction.

Staking these things out as the qualities that trans-excluding cis lesbians are attracted to in women is 1) gross and reductive in a classically misogynistic way and 2) simply not true.  

Any way you shake it, any way you slice it, “I’m not attracted to trans women” is based on the idea that cis women are ONE way and trans women are ONE way. 

It is therefore an idea that is rooted in prejudice and preconceived notions.

Countdown to someone saying that I’m demanding [cis] lesbians must have sex with trans women in 3… 2… but again, the idea that personal preferences, personal attraction, and personal sexual activity do NOT occur in a vacuum but can come from oppressive systems and lead back to oppressive system is an idea that gets discussed every day, including by radical feminists, so it’s really disingenuous to act like it’s a brand new idea when trans women are involved.

You can date who you want. You can have sex with who you want. You can choose not to date or have sex with whoever you want. You don’t ever have to be aware of how your personal preferences interact with oppressive structures. No one can make you do this, much less change them.

What trans women want is an end to the policing of the lesbian identity and lesbian spaces by people who think their personal preferences should define the identity for all.

Here’s my ideal world:

trans lesbians: I’m a lesbian.

cis lesbians: I’m a lesbian.

Here’s where we are now.

trans lesbians: I’m a lesbian.

cis lesbians: HOW DARE YOU TRY TO STUFF YOUR COCK DOWN MY THROAT!

The big change I’m looking for is for that to not happen any more.

*You said “the same thing as”, which is setting the bar pretty high… something I’m sure you did on purpose. A stab wound is not the same thing as a bullet wound, but they’re both wounds. No matter how concerned you may be with bullet wounds, you wouldn’t stand outside the emergency room trying to stop people with stab wounds from coming in because they’re “not the same thing as” bullet wounds.

(Reblogged from inurashii)

par0xetine:

Found this gem in the MX (train newspaper in Melbourne)

(Reblogged from batlesbo)

chickgonebad:

ladyshinga:

No make-up, sleepy eyes, hair still a mess, camera is unflattering as fuck, but fuck you world because I feel slammin’ hot today anyway

SLAMMIN HOT

Can I get a HELL YEAH?

(Reblogged from chickgonebad)

nappynomad:

anartinsorcery:

coldalbion:

yukonstar:

anachronistichybrid:

[source]

Guh, flawless. Non-Westernised interpretations of the steampunk genre FTW. 

  
Thank you for tagging me in this. This is amazing.

Gasp!

(Reblogged from moozapan)

chickgonebad:

ohai?

1. First impression: OH MY GOD THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE HERE AND I’M SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYING THIS CHARACTER WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS LARP THING THIS WAS THE WORST oh hi you want to give me food? well that’s okay then!
2. Truth is: You do give me food!
3. How old do you look: Forties, I guess?
4. Have you ever made me laugh: Oh HELL yes!
5. Have you ever made me mad: Maybe? I got over it if so.
6. Best feature: Your unapologetic out-loudness.
7. Have I ever had a crush on you: oh baby you know it! ;)
8. You’re my: friend who treated me like one of the girls before it was the in thing
9. Name in my phone: I don’t think you’re in my phone, actually! :(

echoboots asked: Hi! XD

1. First impression: Aww, inurashii is being all adorable about showing me youtube videos of the girl he has a crush on.  Ooh, she seems like a good singer!
2. Truth is: You are a good singer, and inu is still totally adorable about you.
3. How old do you look: Early 30’s, I guess?
4. Have you ever made me laugh: Absolutely!
5. Have you ever made me mad: Not that I can think of.
6. Best feature: Your unflinching determination to stand up for what is right.  And your tasty alcoholic drinks.
7. Have I ever had a crush on you: Nope! =D
8. You’re my: friend I always enjoy hanging out with and keep meaning to more often!
9. Name in my phone: legal name

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy.

(Source: discolor3d)

(Reblogged from tilisokolov)

whyisitnotnaptime:

image

Damn, that’s a cold ass honkie

(Reblogged from moozapan)
(Reblogged from brynndragon)